I packed up my apartment, and got ready for my next assignment. How did I accumulate all of this stuff?! I’ve already began my journey to minimalism, but this day confirmed it even more that I needed to downsize. Why did it take me 5 hours to pack and load my car? As I was finishing the last touches, a part of me was saying, “you’re a boss!” I did it. I managed to empty out the apartment and was getting ready to hit the road solo. What an accomplishment.
The other part of me was saying, “girl, you are single single.” Where was my partner in purpose to help me transition to this next part of my life? At that moment, completing the task of packing, loading the car, and getting on the road was a “win” for me. I did it. I survived living across the country. I faced my fear of loneliness and being alone- I didn’t fall apart. A moment of victory in the books.
I packed up my apartment, and got ready for my next assignment. How did I accumulate all of this stuff?! My journey to minimalism had already began several weeks before, but this day confirmed even more that I needed to downsize. Why did it take me 5 hours to pack and load my car? As I was finishing the last touches, a part of me was saying, “you’re a boss!” I did it. I managed to empty out the apartment and was getting ready to hit the road solo. What an accomplishment.
Don’t Compare Your Wins To That of Others
I began my 5 ½ hour drive- in my thoughts- per usual. I carefully assessed my life as well as the lives of my peers. I thought about conversations I’ve had with both single and married women.
For a career woman, it may be getting a promotion at the job. For a new mom, it may be the baby finally sleeping through the night and allowing her to have 5 consecutive hours of sleep. For a new, working mom, it could be successfully getting through the work day for the first time away from the baby. All accomplishments. All reasons to acknowledge that you are killing the game- in a good way.
We all have moments in our lives that deserve to be celebrated.
Never Judge a Book By Its Cover
Society has a bad habit at visually assessing someone else’s life, and assuming that person x has it easier than person y because ….- fill in the blank.
“She has it easier because she’s married and has someone to help her.”
“Must be nice for her to have unlimited time to work on her career since she’s single.”
But the truth is, as humans, we’re always going to be on the quest to want more.
When you’re single- it’s normal to want a partner. When you’re partnered- you may desire to get married. When you’re married- you may want children. Once you have children- you’re ready for them to grow up and get out of the house, so you can live your life for you again.
We can take that same concept and apply it to any area of our lives. You work hard to get the job. Once you get the job, you may want to get compensated more than your current salary. Once you’re at the goal salary, you may realize that perhaps you don’t have a good work-life balance, so now you don’t want that job anymore. The point is, your goals and your desires will change with time. As you evolve as a person, so will your goals for your self.
Align Yourself With Your Purpose
One of the most helpful things we can do for our selves is to assess our needs and ensure that our actions are aligned with our purpose.
In everything that we do, we are trading our time for something else.
Our time is priceless and irreplaceable. Watch out for those things that can be consuming your time that you don’t actually find to be more valuable.
Build Your Tribe
In a comparison-driven culture, what can we do to ensure that all of us are supported and encouraged? What can we do to ensure that all of us are on the course to win? Create a safe space where we can unapologetically celebrate our small wins that will eventually lead to larger ones.
You can affirm yourself of all of your accomplishments, but it doesn’t hurt when you hear another woman confirming that you’re doing a great job. We are all working to become the best versions of ourselves, regardless of where we may be in our lives.
Year of Yes: Shonda Rhimes